Secrets
by flyingspaghettimonster2134
Summary: Just a short oneshot about Remus struggling to accept his feelings for Sirius. This was previously posted but I got nervous and took it down .' So uh, enjoy


Remus had always seen secrets as a necessity.

Having become a werewolf at a very young age, he was used to the idea. He was used to excuses about where he went every month and having to explain injuries. He liked it that way, there was safety in secrets. Then one day everything was out in the open and his friends didn't mind, they were so supportive about that. But this, this was something new entirely.

He was in love with Sirius.

He'd known this for almost a year now, but this was one secret he would never be able to admit. How was he supposed to tell his best mate that he was in love with him? He'd never live it down.

The gay werewolf of Hogwarts, James and Sirius would never shut up if they knew. They would think it was hilarious. He tried so hard not to think about it but it was so hard when he was so bloody gorgeous.

Especially when he had to sit behind him in Defence Against the Dark Arts, watching him flirt with the girls, flashing that smile- that stupid smile that made him weak at the knees. He was always smiling like that, sending winks at Remus when the girls weren't looking. He was showing-off, saying 'Look how fabulous I am Remus' and Remus would roll his eyes and pretend he was concentrating on his work while trying to hide his own grin.

It was a day like this, when Remus was staring off into space absentmindedly, trying to remind himself to concentrate on his work and not the way the light from the window shined on Sirius' dark hair, when a note fell in his lap. Pulled out of his thoughts he looked to James, who poked his tongue out at him and pointed to it. Embarrassed that he'd been having such painfully romantic thoughts, he unfolded the note quickly. The four marauders would often pass notes in class like this as they all sat close together but Peter was in the hospital wing after a particularly gruesome prank went horribly wrong.

"Prank planning in the room of Requirement at 8pm, we need revenge on Snivellous for dobbing us into McGonagall and ruining our last one. ~ S.B."

"Can't make it mate, I've got some important…homework to do. ~J.P."

Remus rolled his eyes and scrawled back, handing it over to Sirius. It circled the group and quickly came back to Remus.

"And by 'homework' I assume you mean 'stalking Lily'? ~R.L."

James, you will be kicked out of the Marauders if you ditch us in order to stalk Lily. ~S.B."

"I AM THE MARAUDERS! Anyway, I'm not ditching you guys to spend time with my future wife- I actually have studying to do. ~J.P."

"You studying? I don't remember seeing anything in the Daily Prophet about hell freezing over. ~R.L."

"Tch, if you give us proof of this so-called-studying you may remain in our group. Well, looks like it's just you and me aye Moony? ~S.B."

"You and Mr. Prefect planning a prank? Ha! That will end so well. ~J.P."

Remus froze, staring at the paper for a long time. Him and Sirius. Alone. He swallowed deeply, trying to ignore the thoughts that were swirling in his head. He quickly scrawled back a response.

"Okay. ~R.L"

He tossed it at Sirius, avoiding eye contact. Sirius shot him a strange look. Remus rarely wrote such short sentences, unless he was thinking really hard about something. He scrawled onto the paper and pushed it back into Remus' hands.

"Are you okay? You look a little pale. ~S.B."

"I'm Fine!~R.L."

He underlined the 'fine' and gave Sirius a quick smile to assure that this was the case. Sirius poked his tongue out and turned back to face the teacher in order to maintain the illusion that he was actually paying attention. As soon as he'd turned the smile was wiped from Remus' face.

This was going to be a long and painful night- he could feel it.

Remus was waiting outside of the room of requirement, trying not to think and failing miserably. He wiped his sweaty palms on his robes for what felt like the millionth time, yehp- he was freaking out. He ran a hand through his hair and tried to calm his nerves, something that became increasingly difficult as he saw the dark-haired boy running down the hallway, waving enthusiastically.

"Sorry I'm late," he called out, "Detention with Minnie ran a little long."

There was sweat beading on Sirius' neck, making it obvious that he'd run here. Remus was sure that he was still sweating more- but not from exercise.

"Shall we?" Remus asked, gesturing to the door and trying to hide the nervousness in his voice. Sirius smirked, placing his hand on the newly formed doorknob. As he pushed the door open Remus exhaled, grateful that the room had not latched onto his perverted thoughts. It was their general prank-planning room. It was small and cozy with several dark red couches surrounding a large table covered in paper. Nearby was a roaring fire that filled the room with a comfortable glow.

"Perfect," Sirius commented, flopping down with his legs dangling over the edge of the couch. Remus sat on the opposite couch with a bit more class, keeping his feet firmly on the floor.

"Shame that Prongs and Wormtail couldn't make it," Remus commented nonchalantly, staring intently at his feet.

Sirius shrugged.

"Oh well, the brains of our operation is here so I think we can cope."

"Right," Remus muttered, "Of course."

"And by brains of course I mean myself," Sirius joked, winking at Remus. Remus rolled his eyes and let the warmth of the fire ease his tension. I mean, what was he getting so worried about? He was just alone with his best mate who he was hopelessly in love with. No big deal, right?

Remus was pleased that Sirius went right into the planning and soon he was completely relaxed. As much as he didn't care to admit it, putting his mind towards planning a great prank was surprisingly soothing. They worked for about an hour together and without Remus noticing, Sirius had shifted onto the couch next to him. They joked and laughed and soon all of Remus' nervousness had disappeared- that was until Sirius decided to change the subject.

"I'm bored with prank planning," he muttered, leaning back into the couch, "Plus, we can't really do much else without Prongs' imput."

Remus studied the paper, purposefully avoiding Sirius' gaze.

"Yeah, I guess so," he muttered, biting his lip as the nervousness set in again, "Maybe we should go and see if he's done?"

Sirius shook his head.

"Nah, he's probably busy," he commented, staring at the painting above the fireplace, "Plus, how often do I get to spend time alone with you."

Remus swallowed hard and he could feel his cheeks going hot.

"Is that right?" he asked nervously, placing his shaking hands onto his legs to try and steady them. Sirius studied him closely for a moment.

"Are you getting a cold?" Sirius asked suddenly, "Your face is all red."

"No, I'm fine really…I just-" Remus stuttered.

"Take this!"

Sirius pulled his scarf off of his neck and wrapped it around Remus'.

"Sit closer to the fire," he told him concernedly, "It's important that you stay warm or you'll just aggravate it.

"Thanks," Remus mumbled, shifting closer to the fire and snuggling into the scarf. It held the scent of cigarettes- one that Remus despised, but the warmth was comforting. Sirius smiled at him.

"It's nice isn't it?" he asked, smiling at his friend, "That Mary McDonald chick gave it to me for Valentines but it's a good scarf- you can keep it if you want."

"I thought you liked her," Remus commented, knitting his eyebrows together. Sirius smiled nonchalantly and rolled his eyes.

"Nah, Mary's nice and all but…I'm kind of interested in someone else. And on that note, what about you Remus? Why haven't you got yourself a girl?"

"I guess I…I mean uh."

The question had caught Remus off guard and he was fondling around for an answer with no luck. Sirius smiling knowingly.

"Oh I see," he purred.

"You see what?"

"Remus is in LOOOOOOOOVE~" he sang.

"What? How do you figure that?!"

Sirius smiled, tapping his nose.

"Intuition, my friend," he informed him, "So…"

He slung one arm over Remus' shoulder.

"Who's the lucky giiiiiirl?"

Remus frowned.

"I'd rather not say."

"Come ooooon man, I'm your best friend."

"No, you'll laugh at me."

"I promise I won't!" Sirius insisted, pulling his puppy-dog eyes. Remus refused to give in.

Remus glared at him.

"I know you will."

"I pinky promise~"

After about ten more minutes of similar pestering Remus began to crack. This was getting hard- would it be better just to admit it?

"Why are you even so worried?" Sirius laughed, "It's not like you're in love with McGonagall."

Remus paused for a little too long. Sirius' jaw dropped.

"Wait, you are in love with McGonagall?!"

"No, I'm in love with you."

Remus covered his mouth in shock. He hadn't meant to say that out loud. Sirius had stopped laughing.

"What?"

"I mean uh, It's McGonagall yeah!" he laughed, trying to play it off. He'd rather he believed that than the truth. Sirius wasn't buying it.

"You said you were in love with me."

"No I didn't," Remus insisted. All forms of joking had left the conversation and Sirius' intense look was slowly making Remus uncomfortable.

"Tell me the truth Remus John Lupin," Sirius insisted, "Are you in love with me?"

"Well…"

Remus looked at his feet.

"Well?"

"Yes."

There was silence between them for a long time.

"Remus?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm in love with you too."

"That's not funny Sirius."

"I'm not joking." It didn't look like he was, but it was often hard to tell.

"Are you serious?" Remus asked.

"I'm always Sirius," he responded, grinning.

"Not funny."

"I know."

There was silence again.

"Remus?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I kiss you?"

"WHAT?!"

"Well…since it's out in the open now, can I kiss you?" Sirius asked. Remus stared at him in disbelief. The boy all confidence and charm was practically shaking. He couldn't believe it. Could Sirius actually be? Sirius smiled nervously.

"Please."

Before he could say another word Remus closed the distance between them, kissing him. It was a long kiss, long and sweet but after a few seconds Remus leaned back. He was shaking, the fear in his eyes was unmistakable- the same fear that had been there when they found out he was a werewolf. Sirius grinned- his charming, ridiculous grin.

"Get your arse back here." He demanded and soon they were kissing again, smiling and laughing the whole time.

For once in his life Remus wasn't keeping any secrets and it felt fantastic- it felt more than fantastic, it felt mind-blowing.

Suddenly Remus realised that secrets weren't always a necessity.

In fact, sometimes honesty brought much more.

And it was great.


End file.
